Monday, September 27, 2010

Sad & Happy (Pt. 2)

Sad and Happy Too2
Sad and Happy: My Life to TOO 2

Throughout my life I life I have been SAD and HAPPY,

Beaten and Praised,

Raped and hated,

Because of being blazed I went through a majority of my life glazed,

I did this in order to compensate for the memories I can not face,

My mind is blank tape that has been erased,

I had to,

Or I did so at least subconsciously,

For let me ask you how I could be a real man and feel disgrace,

People claim they see it in my face,

So I left my past behind without a trace,

I have been shot at,

Abused,

Content and confused,

Manic and panicked,

Entranced and romanced,

Slashed, bashed and trashed on,

Complimented and humiliated,

Influenced and raised with out a biological family,

A truth I have grown to live with daily,

So I grew up differently,

Simply,

Humbly,

So when I met others just like me,

We became one another’s family,

What fueled me was the thought that do no one unique grew up classically,

So since day one I started out fighting for what I believed,
but I got tired of my dreams,
for the past 19years I’ve won or been defeated,

That’s still a long bout with associated by insomnia,

For me it’s brought on a permanent paranoia,

Most look at me like I am a schizophrenic loner,

Raised by music books and television,

I have always lived alone,

Forced to make my decisions most of my life is do or die,

You judge my life and say you apologize,

Young females say they cry,

You would see 90% Happiness and only 10% torture,

Yet because I express myself you see me as a lyrical whore,

And

If it was that bad I would take my only outlet of homicidal tendencies times four,

And then I would turn them against me,

Please trust I’ve had suicidal dreams,

Desires and wishes,

Drastic attempts denied,

For I was born to survive,

Destined to influence life,

For I was inspired by Eminem,

And 50 cent who’s words in my psyche have made a dent,

There the typical persona and stigmatic “personality” you would see in me,

But before you conclude this

What about MLK,

Helen Keller,

As well as Gandhi,

Chuck close,

Van Gough, and his boy Pablo Picasso,

Mozart puts me to sleep,

He was my only nanny,

In the future I will reshape the game,

Beethoven will be my main inspiration and the hook that earns you the much deserved first Grammy,

So don’t look at me as uneducated and grimey,

Just because I wear baggy pants,

Try to use your mind to see past that,

So that you can see me,

No not the difference,

Most live their life by instilling strict boundaries,

What you consider “abnormalities” is just me giving you the respect of being unique,

I have just grown up differently,

And we doesn’t mean nothing,

So open you mind,

And take the hate out of your eyes see past the lies,

You’ll see me no one has yet,

I don’t mind the fact I am all alone,

I close my eyes,

This takes me to “my place”

So while in solitude I rome my dome all alone,

Like normal.

1 comment:

  1. Atom -- It's great you are using your blog to feature your poetry to express yourself. I think I prefer your self-reflective themes more than the 'romantic' ones...poetry isn't my 'bag' but, i know the type of poetry i do enjoy.

    do you perform or present your poetry in public? you should investigate local groups or venues where you could do so...it might also be a cathartic thing to do for yourself. you might find some like-minded people who are not into rap or music, but appreciate written/lyrical prose.

    seems you are interested in extending yourself to new things, people, places, and ideas so a poetry group could be a learning expereince for you in a safe environment to 'try out' some of your writings and get constructive feedback.

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