not a christmas Carroll.....

Yeah so?
I met her off a website, and it was magical,
It was something definite it was not sporadical,
And that night, we were the only two in the world,
I saw fireworks that lit up the night sky, oh that girl,
Brighter than neon lights, no im not gonna lie,
We had a whirlwind romance,
It left me in a trance,
Like a sexy tango, a sexy as dance,
She had curves, and words, and a mind ive never seen before,
I was the underdog,
So how did I score?
How did I win, or I thought I did at least,
But I treated it with no respect,
Like a thing,
She was the wind beneath my wing,
For the time that it lasted,
I did her wrong,
And now im just blasted,
I lost, I loved,
I wish it could have lasted,
I was classless, and I didn’t learn,
Now im stuck here all alone and all I can do is let it burn,
She evoked something different,
I don’t know how she did it,
I wish we could kick,
But that’s not in the cards now,
And how could I be dumb that you ask?
Once I won, how did I drop to the bottom of the class?

I didn’t do right,
I didn’t Fight,
I didn’t see the light,

I cant go back to that, I cant be bad like that,
Head my words, there not just a story,
I got left for the better pick, isn’t that sick,
I thought I had it all, and it dropped like a ball,
It bounced away from me,

Disconnect,

Its my fault, I didn’t show how I really felt,
I lacked respect,
But that’s my bad, all I did,
I hid from what I felt,
But when I would ever see her, maybe she didn’t know,
I would melt,
With all that I felt,
She never saw,
Even though everyone else did,
She needed more,
Something I couldn’t do, not never, just not at this time,
But it was her time to shine, and she did like dia (mond)
And in the rough,
I know she’s tough,
I know she’s real, the complete deal,

I messed up, and now that im stuck, I don’t know what to do, I don’t want anything, not anymore, I just want more in my life, im trying to push for more, but the heart is a muscle and now its torn and sore. Its my life that needs focus, im scattered and battered, my mental is not sound, so its time to solidify it, and put my feet on the ground, and walk, no run up that hill, time to do it big, time to do what I feel. That’s WIN.

My life’s been a stress,
I’m blessed for that girl,
But she’s gone and I need to give my love life a rest,
It hurts to breath, my complete chest.
So now to use my mind,
So don’t count me out,
Keep me in mind,
Im the kind, that rises up,
Like a phoenix from the ashes,
One day ill shine so bright you’ll need a new pair of Oakley glasses,
And ill make all my dreams come true,
Except when it comes to her,
I loved, I fussed, I lost all of her trust,
Shes gone for good? How is that good?
To loose her completely, I thought that it would defeat me,
But I treated her like a thing,
Now the best thing ever is gone,
On another road, this is my song.

I will win no matter what, I will be better than the best,
I will work for more,
I will work to be blessed,
I will commit to what I do,
Even though its done differently,
I will be great,
And I will never feel hate,
I will succeed,
I may bleed,
But I will give my all,
Write that down,
Remember this date.
Maybe it was fate.
Now its to late.
(Alas I will never forget her and our first date.)