I need to get healthy,
I need to do me,
I need to do more,
I feel like ive been reborn,
I need to open my eyes so that I can see,
I need to focus and say forget the hocus pocus,
I need to get real,
I need to be me,
You feel me?
But what is that, that you really see?
Can you understand me?
See me for me?
I may be different,
But u act like im having fun,
Its not fun to always be fighting to be understood,
Always being told I cant, and I never could,
Could I excel?
Can I rebel?
Can I do more,
You bet I can and I will,
So pull your shades tight and lock you doors,
Im going to show you more than you could have imagined,
Don’t be scared because your old fashioned,
Embrace the new,
Screw the normal view,
See me for me, and all that I be,
Im a glutton I want more,
More of life, and more for more,
I may broken, but im not poor,
Im rich with ideas,
Forget that im full of fears,
CONFRONTATION,
Deliberation, will lead to success,
I can deal with the stress, I always have and always will,
I must be empty cause I haven’t had my fill, yet,
I can take more,
You wanna battle me, Ill beat you with double,
No, triple your score,
I don’t do it for fame, or to be a part of an allure,
I do it because its part of me,
Its all I can be,
Better than you,
Don’t be mad, don’t be jealous,
I bowed down at one point,
You became overzealous,
Contemplate this,
If you knew what I been through,
Understood who I be,
You wouldn’t ever question my potential nor my ability,
I may not be the master,
But I will one day,
When you stuck in your 9 to 5 for life, until your old and grey,
Ill still be rebuilding,
I still be fresh and new,
And you thought because I had ADHD I had nothing on you,
I just got my start late,
But ill finish this race,
You may have sprinted early,
But I have a consistent building on my pace,
So look up,
And say it to my face,
Listen to me,
And look in the mirror,
Dude you’re a waste.
Im a sinner turned into a winner,
You’re a liar and bore,
I may not be perfect,
But I will succeed with no regrets.
Consider that……..
Monday, December 12, 2011
not a christmas Carroll.....
Yeah so?
I met her off a website, and it was magical,
It was something definite it was not sporadical,
And that night, we were the only two in the world,
I saw fireworks that lit up the night sky, oh that girl,
Brighter than neon lights, no im not gonna lie,
We had a whirlwind romance,
It left me in a trance,
Like a sexy tango, a sexy as dance,
She had curves, and words, and a mind ive never seen before,
I was the underdog,
So how did I score?
How did I win, or I thought I did at least,
But I treated it with no respect,
Like a thing,
She was the wind beneath my wing,
For the time that it lasted,
I did her wrong,
And now im just blasted,
I lost, I loved,
I wish it could have lasted,
I was classless, and I didn’t learn,
Now im stuck here all alone and all I can do is let it burn,
She evoked something different,
I don’t know how she did it,
I wish we could kick,
But that’s not in the cards now,
And how could I be dumb that you ask?
Once I won, how did I drop to the bottom of the class?
I didn’t do right,
I didn’t Fight,
I didn’t see the light,
I cant go back to that, I cant be bad like that,
Head my words, there not just a story,
I got left for the better pick, isn’t that sick,
I thought I had it all, and it dropped like a ball,
It bounced away from me,
Disconnect,
Its my fault, I didn’t show how I really felt,
I lacked respect,
But that’s my bad, all I did,
I hid from what I felt,
But when I would ever see her, maybe she didn’t know,
I would melt,
With all that I felt,
She never saw,
Even though everyone else did,
She needed more,
Something I couldn’t do, not never, just not at this time,
But it was her time to shine, and she did like dia (mond)
And in the rough,
I know she’s tough,
I know she’s real, the complete deal,
I messed up, and now that im stuck, I don’t know what to do, I don’t want anything, not anymore, I just want more in my life, im trying to push for more, but the heart is a muscle and now its torn and sore. Its my life that needs focus, im scattered and battered, my mental is not sound, so its time to solidify it, and put my feet on the ground, and walk, no run up that hill, time to do it big, time to do what I feel. That’s WIN.
My life’s been a stress,
I’m blessed for that girl,
But she’s gone and I need to give my love life a rest,
It hurts to breath, my complete chest.
So now to use my mind,
So don’t count me out,
Keep me in mind,
Im the kind, that rises up,
Like a phoenix from the ashes,
One day ill shine so bright you’ll need a new pair of Oakley glasses,
And ill make all my dreams come true,
Except when it comes to her,
I loved, I fussed, I lost all of her trust,
Shes gone for good? How is that good?
To loose her completely, I thought that it would defeat me,
But I treated her like a thing,
Now the best thing ever is gone,
On another road, this is my song.
I will win no matter what, I will be better than the best,
I will work for more,
I will work to be blessed,
I will commit to what I do,
Even though its done differently,
I will be great,
And I will never feel hate,
I will succeed,
I may bleed,
But I will give my all,
Write that down,
Remember this date.
Maybe it was fate.
Now its to late.
(Alas I will never forget her and our first date.)
I met her off a website, and it was magical,
It was something definite it was not sporadical,
And that night, we were the only two in the world,
I saw fireworks that lit up the night sky, oh that girl,
Brighter than neon lights, no im not gonna lie,
We had a whirlwind romance,
It left me in a trance,
Like a sexy tango, a sexy as dance,
She had curves, and words, and a mind ive never seen before,
I was the underdog,
So how did I score?
How did I win, or I thought I did at least,
But I treated it with no respect,
Like a thing,
She was the wind beneath my wing,
For the time that it lasted,
I did her wrong,
And now im just blasted,
I lost, I loved,
I wish it could have lasted,
I was classless, and I didn’t learn,
Now im stuck here all alone and all I can do is let it burn,
She evoked something different,
I don’t know how she did it,
I wish we could kick,
But that’s not in the cards now,
And how could I be dumb that you ask?
Once I won, how did I drop to the bottom of the class?
I didn’t do right,
I didn’t Fight,
I didn’t see the light,
I cant go back to that, I cant be bad like that,
Head my words, there not just a story,
I got left for the better pick, isn’t that sick,
I thought I had it all, and it dropped like a ball,
It bounced away from me,
Disconnect,
Its my fault, I didn’t show how I really felt,
I lacked respect,
But that’s my bad, all I did,
I hid from what I felt,
But when I would ever see her, maybe she didn’t know,
I would melt,
With all that I felt,
She never saw,
Even though everyone else did,
She needed more,
Something I couldn’t do, not never, just not at this time,
But it was her time to shine, and she did like dia (mond)
And in the rough,
I know she’s tough,
I know she’s real, the complete deal,
I messed up, and now that im stuck, I don’t know what to do, I don’t want anything, not anymore, I just want more in my life, im trying to push for more, but the heart is a muscle and now its torn and sore. Its my life that needs focus, im scattered and battered, my mental is not sound, so its time to solidify it, and put my feet on the ground, and walk, no run up that hill, time to do it big, time to do what I feel. That’s WIN.
My life’s been a stress,
I’m blessed for that girl,
But she’s gone and I need to give my love life a rest,
It hurts to breath, my complete chest.
So now to use my mind,
So don’t count me out,
Keep me in mind,
Im the kind, that rises up,
Like a phoenix from the ashes,
One day ill shine so bright you’ll need a new pair of Oakley glasses,
And ill make all my dreams come true,
Except when it comes to her,
I loved, I fussed, I lost all of her trust,
Shes gone for good? How is that good?
To loose her completely, I thought that it would defeat me,
But I treated her like a thing,
Now the best thing ever is gone,
On another road, this is my song.
I will win no matter what, I will be better than the best,
I will work for more,
I will work to be blessed,
I will commit to what I do,
Even though its done differently,
I will be great,
And I will never feel hate,
I will succeed,
I may bleed,
But I will give my all,
Write that down,
Remember this date.
Maybe it was fate.
Now its to late.
(Alas I will never forget her and our first date.)
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
i.T.Y.
iTY
i thank you,
i found something special in you, and all that you are,
i love how when i see u, i smile and i see us going O so far,
with a reality in you, i don’t know what to do,
you are pure perfection, deserving of all the worlds affection,
just the thought of you points me in the right direction,
you astound and profound, i don’t know what to do when ur not around, i hope you’re aware at the love i have for you, and how much i care, i dare u to find another, you cant for you are my wife, my life, together we are non other, i think of your beauty, u are my muse my inspiration, you are my cutie, now and forever i love thee, and you make me as light as a feather, and for that i thank you.....
i thank you,
i found something special in you, and all that you are,
i love how when i see u, i smile and i see us going O so far,
with a reality in you, i don’t know what to do,
you are pure perfection, deserving of all the worlds affection,
just the thought of you points me in the right direction,
you astound and profound, i don’t know what to do when ur not around, i hope you’re aware at the love i have for you, and how much i care, i dare u to find another, you cant for you are my wife, my life, together we are non other, i think of your beauty, u are my muse my inspiration, you are my cutie, now and forever i love thee, and you make me as light as a feather, and for that i thank you.....
NOT 4 ME....
Maybe love is not for me,
At this time perhaps its not my goal,
I know im meant for more,
Yet I feel incomplete and all I want to do is be whole,
I feel like something’s missing,
All I want is to feel true kissing,
Again and Again,
I put myself out there and all I have is friends,
That’s not my fault,
Yet its not what I thought,
What do I do,
When all I want is you,
YOU, to see me,
For all that I be,
YOU, to understand,
YOU, to hold my hand,
See my intricacies,
And care for me (perhaps love) for all that I can be,
I’m not much now,
But I’ve seen the light,
And at night, I look to the stars, and the heavens and ask that I do right,
Do right by YOU,
Yet here on earth no one understands,
Not even a few,
I’m LONE, A-LONE,
One of a kind, never possibly cloned,
So I’m not what your used to,
I’m nothing like what you knew,
Nothing that you’ve known,
I’m just questioning life,
Trying to figure out my goals,
Figure out my fate,
Life is long, but I have the feeling it may be too late,
What do I do?
Who do I ask,
I’ve gone to school, learned your ways, gotten A’s in your class,
Now its time for me to school you,
I tried to learn, you tried to show me what to do,
Now its time for me to come up,
Time to find my way.
What do I do? How do I do it? How do I get you to understand?
What do I say?
All I know is there is no written path for me,
Time to forge a way.
Wanna.B
Sometimes u ever want to just disappear?
Fuck everything you hear,
it hurts ur ears,
it makes u want to scream,
makes you want to shed a tear,
even when u feel close to me,
im sorry im no where near,
im full of fear, full of hate,
full of love,
trying to find my fate,
close the front door and open the gate,
Life… it’s a gift I don’t know what to make, of it,
I forget, what to do?
Do right by who? Me or You?
What about us? I hate to fight, I hate to fuss,
But yet I must,
You think I don’t know,
I know better than you?
You see these marks, They’re emotions in actuality,
They bled through,
What about yours? Where are you?
Fuck everything you hear,
it hurts ur ears,
it makes u want to scream,
makes you want to shed a tear,
even when u feel close to me,
im sorry im no where near,
im full of fear, full of hate,
full of love,
trying to find my fate,
close the front door and open the gate,
Life… it’s a gift I don’t know what to make, of it,
I forget, what to do?
Do right by who? Me or You?
What about us? I hate to fight, I hate to fuss,
But yet I must,
You think I don’t know,
I know better than you?
You see these marks, They’re emotions in actuality,
They bled through,
What about yours? Where are you?
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
iTY
iTY
i thank you,
i found something special in you, and all that you are,
i love how when i see u, i smile and i see us going O so far,
with a reality in you, i dont know what to do,
you are pure perfection, deserving of all the worlds affection,
just the thought of you points me in the right direction,
you astound and profound, i dont know what to do when ur not around, i hope youre aware at the love i haver for you, and how much i care, i dare u to find another, you cant for you are my wife, my life, together we are non other, i think of your beuty, u are my muse my inspiration, you are my cutie, now and forever i love thee, and yuou make me as light as a feather, and for that i thank you.....
i thank you,
i found something special in you, and all that you are,
i love how when i see u, i smile and i see us going O so far,
with a reality in you, i dont know what to do,
you are pure perfection, deserving of all the worlds affection,
just the thought of you points me in the right direction,
you astound and profound, i dont know what to do when ur not around, i hope youre aware at the love i haver for you, and how much i care, i dare u to find another, you cant for you are my wife, my life, together we are non other, i think of your beuty, u are my muse my inspiration, you are my cutie, now and forever i love thee, and yuou make me as light as a feather, and for that i thank you.....
Not For Me......
NOT FOR ME
Maybe love is not for me,
At this time perhaps its not my goal,
I know im meant for more,
Yet I feel incomplete and all I want to do is be whole,
I feel like somethings missing,
All I want is to feel true kissing,
Again and Again,
I put myself out there and all I have is friends,
That’s not my fault,
Yet its not what I thought,
What do I do,
When all I want is you,
YOU, to see me,
For all that I be,
YOU, to understand,
YOU, to hold my hand,
See my intricacies,
And care for me (perhaps love) for all that I can be,
Im not much now,
But ive seen the light,
And at night, I look to the stars, and the heavens and ask that I do right,
Do right by YOU,
Yet here on earth no one understands,
Not even a few,
Im LONE, A-LONE,
One of a kind, never possibly cloned,
So Im not what your used to,
Im nothing like what you knew,
Nothing that you’ve known,
Im just questioning life,
Trying to figure out my goals,
Figure out my fate,
Life is long, but I have the feeling it may be too late,
What do I do?
Who do I ask,
I’ve gone to school, learned your ways, gotten A’s in your class,
Now its time for me to school you,
I tried to learn, you tried to show me what to do,
Now its time for me to come up,
Time to find my way.
What do I do? How do I do it? How do I get you to understand?
What do I say?
All I know is there is no written path for me,
Time to forge a way.
Maybe love is not for me,
At this time perhaps its not my goal,
I know im meant for more,
Yet I feel incomplete and all I want to do is be whole,
I feel like somethings missing,
All I want is to feel true kissing,
Again and Again,
I put myself out there and all I have is friends,
That’s not my fault,
Yet its not what I thought,
What do I do,
When all I want is you,
YOU, to see me,
For all that I be,
YOU, to understand,
YOU, to hold my hand,
See my intricacies,
And care for me (perhaps love) for all that I can be,
Im not much now,
But ive seen the light,
And at night, I look to the stars, and the heavens and ask that I do right,
Do right by YOU,
Yet here on earth no one understands,
Not even a few,
Im LONE, A-LONE,
One of a kind, never possibly cloned,
So Im not what your used to,
Im nothing like what you knew,
Nothing that you’ve known,
Im just questioning life,
Trying to figure out my goals,
Figure out my fate,
Life is long, but I have the feeling it may be too late,
What do I do?
Who do I ask,
I’ve gone to school, learned your ways, gotten A’s in your class,
Now its time for me to school you,
I tried to learn, you tried to show me what to do,
Now its time for me to come up,
Time to find my way.
What do I do? How do I do it? How do I get you to understand?
What do I say?
All I know is there is no written path for me,
Time to forge a way.
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