Divine Endings; confessions

To use again would to be my divine end, Loosing control, Amping my life that to me is so droll, Where does it begin, and where does it end, In this life, All I ask for is friend, A companion, Someone that would never abandon, The real thing in this world, That we all search for but never have, To hold my hand, To Take a STAND. The knife cuts so deep, It is “o my goodness….” So sweet, The blood, The trickle, The smell, The tickle, The warmth, The control, Even though I remove a part of me, some how, now I feel whole, The pain, The pleasure, The cold steel, Releasing the warmth, Changing just like the weather, The blade screams hot white cold pain, Yet I stay quiet, In my mind I stay sane, Plain jane, Me o my, Day in day out, How do I get by, What do I do? How do I win. Misunderstood for my torture, Abused for my sin, Confused by my feelings, Like im sitting on ceilings, Upside down is right side up, WTF, Im stuck. Working for more, Yet what is the score? Trying to get it out, Yet what is it all for?