Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Thank You.

Dear God, I start of this letter by acknowledging the reality that I have had a disregard for life. I gave it up, I rejected it, and you saved me. That must have a significance and a true meaning. Right? You said no, it was not my time, and were gracious enough to allowed me the gift of life, and kept me alive when I did not want it, there must be a reason….., no I know there is a reason. I thank you. I thank you for the pain that has been in my life. The bumps the bruises, the cute the scrapes, the concussions, the inevitable repercussions, the pain, the anguish and the torment I have faced. Yes I have scars inside and out, yet I find them beautiful for I have healed and I have become stronger where once I was weak. They are reminders that I have every day of my life. The ones most people think are the worst and that I am judged for, I ignore, for to me they are personal and represent so much more than anyone could understand. For what is a scar but a fortified area, where I was once weak I am stronger and I can help others as well, I did not recognize that at the time, but now I do. For that knowledge and understanding I thank you. For all that has happened I recognize how I am a better man now and I thank you. I thank you for all of the gifts and lessons that you have put in my path, good or bad I have learned. You educated me when I chose ignorance and I thank you. You have blessed me with more chances then I can count. I don’t know why, but I will earn it and deserve it. For that I thank you. I don’t know what is in store for me, but I have faith. I know there is not a path blazed for me but I will blaze that trail. For nothing deserved it is not given, it is earned, and earn I shall. I will work hard, I will strive to do more than survive. I will be more. I will not rest on my laurels and make excuses, I will break down doors and I will be more. For giving me my drive and showing me a light I thank you. I thank you for the people in my life, friends, family, best friends, enemies, haters, ect. Yes, everyone. Whether good or bad I have learned from them and been taught so many life lessons that I don’t know how to express. I have had some of the best people in my life that I could ever ask for. Amazing, Intelligent, Strong, Fascinating, Intense, Significant, Honest, and true people. I see that now, and that is why to a select few that are in my life I ask them to join my circle, I love and respect them, all I ask is that they accept me, and see me for ME, and all that I be, good and bad. I know I’m not perfect, yet I also know that I am unique with capabilities that if truly recognized, reflects greatness, they have taught me that. I thank you for allowing me to be a part of their lives. For everyone I have met and will meet I THANK YOU. I thank you for taking me on so many journeys in life. My life has never gone from point A to B, it more went from A to X to D to Z to F to C to B, but I enjoyed the journey and the experiences, because I always wound up right where I needed to be. I don’t know where my life is headed now, and I don’t know where I am going, but I know where I want to end up. I am scared at the present moment, and I am full of confusion, I have lost people on this journey, I have met some others that are greater, and inspire. I always believe there is a plan, but I am nervous, frustrated, and confused, yet I will leave it all behind and starting NOW I will strive to be stronger, to have more faith, and never to loose either again, and continue willingly on this journey, and not just to passively continue, but with fortitude, knowledge, strength, and hopefully peace of mind. I know when I am weak you will be there at my side. For when I am at my worst God, you are at your best, and you love me, nurture me, and guide me, for everything you do I thank you. Thank you for all this and so much more. With all that I have, body, mind, and soul, in your name I pray. Amen. A.

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